And the hotel copywriting prize goes to... Georgia
In the second part of our summer travel writing clinics, we get wowed by a House style
Last time, I took aim at some copy for a new luxury hotel. Now we’ll let the good cop in to show you how writing about hotels should and can be done.
This is from Kerten Hospitality, a small operator in Georgia, the country, not the US state. They’re writing about a new hotel in Tbilisi called The House:
Across the street from the sixth century Anchiskhati Basilica, in the heart of Tbilisi’s charming Old Town, Kerten Hospitality, a mixed-use, ESG and lifestyle operator, has opened The House Hotel Old Tbilisi, its first of three lifestyle hospitality projects in Georgia. The three-storey, 17-room hotel was once the Nikolozishvili mansion and blends that traditional charm with chic sensibility. Each room is distinguished by a historical Georgian character painted by local mural artist, Musya Qeburia, and features custom-made furnishings from Georgian oak, parquet floors and marble bathrooms with a rain shower.
Whenever you're reading about a new place, you need to be located. So we know where this hotel is and who is opening it. You get some facts and a little history. You are told who painted the rooms and why they are uniquely Georgian.
Yes, there are slightly tired adjectives: ‘charm’, ‘charming’ ‘chic’. But that’s just about okay, because the writer has done enough proper work to be allowed those splashes of colour. Think of constructing a paragraph like decorating a room. You have a base colour scheme and design which isn’t too much of an assault on the senses. That allows you to introduce pops of colour and a dash of flamboyance.
(There are writers, and interior designers, who can get away with a riot of clashing colours and textures. But you wouldn’t hire them to furnish your office – nor write your press releases).
Traditional buildings in Tbilisi have what locals call Italian Courtyards, intimate social areas where residents gather to play backgammon and dominoes, hang laundry and gossip while children play. The House Hotel Old Tbilisi has renovated its courtyard to provide much of the same warmth and neighbourliness with a bar that mixes special cocktails and uncorks exclusive Georgian wines from its own grower, while rapturous meals are served at tables around an olive tree for both hotel guests and walk-in visitors.
As an editor and writer, you’re looking for details which work as a portal into a country and its culture. So that detail about the Italian courtyard stands out. You get a sense of how Georgians like to live and how the hotel has tried to recreate that experience. The writer has achieved this without spraying around the usual words – ‘authentic’, ‘vibrant’ and so on. ‘Rapturous’ meals? At least that’s different!
By the way, I doubt this author speaks and writes English as a first language. That’s not because of the occasional odd piece of phrasing (we are all capable of producing those). It’s because the syntax is very sound and avoids the twistiness you see in so much corporate and PR writing.
I’ve recently been working with groups of overseas writers for a big hotel company. After the first session, I had to ditch the slides on syntax. I had nothing to teach them – whereas a lot of English speakers have a lot to learn.
More from the banned words list
A fully-equipped gym, yesterday Humphrey Muleba for Unsplash
Thanks to a friend of the blog, Michael Hobson, for his contributions to our growing Banned Word list. Michael was chief marketing officer at the Mandarin Oriental group for many years (24, in fact). MO was, and is, popular with travel media for the clarity of its communications as well as the excellence of its rooms.
Michael is now chief executive of Lanson Place, a hotel and apartment development next to Hong Kong’s Causeway Bay. It’s in an interesting spot: between one of the planet’s noisier and busier luxury retail areas and low-level Tai Hang with its specialist ice cream makers, street bars and Japanese-style izakayas. The word haven is overused, but if you are on a short or long stay in Hong Kong (and Lanson Place has some CEOs, especially from the fashion and retail industry, who stay for months) you’d definitely look forward to closing the door of your suite, collapsing into a big sofa and letting your eyes rest on the view towards the Hong Kong Stadium and the Tai Tam country park beyond.
Michael says:
Other banned words ( and phrases) surely must include: ‘stunning‘ , ‘fully-equipped gyms and spas’ (as if they might be under-equipped), ‘ overstuffed‘ ( pillows), ‘bespoke’ ……oh Lord – the list goes on.
It does indeed.
Talking of Hong Kong…
I’ve just written a review of Chris Patten’s book of diaries from his time as the last Governor of Hong Kong. Patten is one of those few politicians (from any era, though it’s fashionable to say the current breed are a whole lot stupider and less cultured than their predecessors) who can not only write, but have a robust and individual writing style.
In front of a select committee in 1994, Patten says:
I don’t regard it as acceptable to cover up matters of substance with forms of words packed with strong nouns and weak verbs,
He is writing is usually more economical than this. Even so, he is accurately describing 90% of corporate and official English.
Pet Shop Boy’s sound views on English
The BBC podcast This Cultural Life has a good interview with Neil Tennant of the Pet Shop Boys – and he had some good advice for writers. Tennant described himself as an observational lyricist. As well as observing, he listens: he picks up snatches of everyday conversation he hears and recycles them in his lyrics.
He’s got no time for the internal monologue that passes for communication and writing in music and elsewhere:
To me today pop music is very narcissistic. I find that a bit tedious….I wish there was more art in it than dissing your boyfriend.
Tenant says he is also trying very hard not to use too many adjectives in his songs. Got the message yet, travel writers?
How do I apply ideas like this to my business?
Contact us at Forthwrite. You get a writer (me) and editor (Kerry) and the world’s leading expert on winning business and making proposals (David).
".... traditional charm with chic sensibility..." - love it! how long until someone else uses it as their own? "shabby chic" etc
AND "...In every city, in every nation from Lake Geneva to the Finland station ... " which PSB song?